08.11.2008 - Unbelievable Fatigue

It is 08.11.2008 and I still haven't returned to work since having chemo five days ago. I hope to return to work tomorrow. All these drugs make me feel so tired. How many naps can I take? I always feel tired after all the additional rest. Feeling tired all the time gets old and I wish I could just feel normal. It is all part of a greater plan to knock the cancer out, but it is difficult to be patient. The photo is what I take every night and that isn't including chemo. Do you know anyone who takes more pills than I do?

08.06.2008 - Another Round of Chemo

On 08.06.2008 I had chemotherapy again and it went pretty well. This is the stuff that should make all my hair fall out again. Just when my beard was coming in thick and full and my hair was coming in the same. I don't feel awful today, but won't be going into to work today or tomorrow because of how I have felt in the past following this type of chemo. I have had to lay down for a while this morning and expect to rest a decent portion of the next couple days.

Things are going pretty well here. We finally got a lot of rain last night. We need more though to catch up for our lack of rain so far this year. The job is going well. I do miss being a first responder so much. Being a police officer is the best job I have ever had and I would love to return to the profession at some point. What I do now is fulfilling, but not so much as being a police officer was.

A Denver PD sergeant already tried to recruit me during a trial a month or so ago. It would be a pay cut and I don't think my current health would permit me to do it at this time.

06.26.2008 - Trip to the ER

On 06.26.2008, I felt really tired and then had some problems typing on my computer at work. I noticed my speech sounded really strange during a phone call that I made. I went home and slept for a while and when I woke up, my wife noticed that my speech was strange and she was alarmed. She said it sounded like it was slurred. I couldn't help it, that is just how it was coming out. It got better soon after and we called my doctor's office. He was out of town, but the staff said that if things got worse to bring me into the ER. I soon developed a painful headache in the worst spot...where the tumor was. My wife took me to the ER and they gave me something to help with the pain and kept me overnight. Preliminary scans did not reveal any anomalies. I received more comprehensive scans the following morning and everything showed that all was the same as it was before. The conclusion reached was that I had a seizure. I didn't recognize it as a seizure. I was fully conscious and just felt really tired. They increased my anti-seizure medication as a result.

06.14.2008 - Another Session Over & Done With

This past week, I only worked 06.09.2008 and 06.10.2008. The schedule showed me out 06.11.2008 through 06.13.2008 and a couple co-workers asked me if I was taking a vacation. I told them it wasn't a vacation, unless you can consider sitting or lying in a chair for three days for four hours each day with a needle in your arm and getting chemotherapy a vacation. This was a three day session of BCNU. I don't feel too bad now and that is pretty good. I was kind of wiped out on the evening of 06.13.2008 and that wasn't the greatest time to be wiped out because my wife was watching her brother's four kids in addition to ours because his wife was in surgery and then she had to fly out that night for her grandmother's funeral. It was a busy evening. I have been very busy today with lots of yard work and house organization and cleaning type chores. Perhaps the key to not getting sick is to stay really busy? Of course, the BCNU doesn't wipe me out like the one day session of Irinotecan and Taxol.

05.12.2008 - One Hard Week

This week really kicked my butt. I had chemo on 05.09.2008 and was sick all weekend and had to stay home from work on 05.12.2008. I didn't feel that good on 05.13.2008 or 05.14.2008, but was able to work. On 05.15.2008, I had a doctor visit and my white blood cell count was low. That was to be expected due to the chemotherapy and they gave me a shot of Neulasta to boost my WBC count. I felt really tired that day and my boss told me before I left for the appointment to perhaps take a nap before returning to work. When I got home, I slept for about five hours and then had a normal evening and then slept my usual eight hours. 05.16.2008, I finally felt mostly normal. Still not perfect, but close. This may have been the hardest hit I have ever been from the chemo. Not fun.

05.09.2008 - One Day Chemo Session

On 05.09.2008, I had another chemotherapy session, but it was a one day session. I couldn't drive myself, so my wife dropped me off and after they gave me a large dose of benadryl through the IV, I was out for hours. I woke up and tried to do some work, but couldn't get anything done, so I gave it up. Right as the nurse was disconnecting the IV, my brother-in-law arrived and picked me up and drove me home. Timing worked out well, but I felt poorly the remainder of the evening. I didn't feel great Saturday either. The morning wasn't too bad, but it got unpleasant in the afternoon, and now I am perking up a bit. I had to prepare two cases for trial for Monday and those are done. I had a jury trial on Thursday and that was a good experience since I haven't had a jury trial since I went out for this medical situation in October of last year. There wasn't a verdict. The jury was deadlocked. After multiple proclamations by the jury that they were unable to reach a unanimous verdict and two and a half hours of deliberating, the judge declared a mistrial. The drugs in this IV session were Irinotecan (also known as Camptosar) and Taxol.

04.09.2008 - Three Day Chemo Session

04.09.2008 was the beginning of a three day chemo session of BCNU. I started the morning off with a MRI and the results were positive. The doctor believes we have good control over the tumor and there appears to be no new growth. I also begin another five day cycle of the oral chemo drug Temodar. Since each of the three days is a four hour session, I thought I would use the time productively. I have five jury trials scheduled for Monday and brought the files with me to the doctor's office to work on and prepare. What better time to prepare than when I am stuck in a chair for a few hours with nothing to do. I don't feel bad so far, but I still have a couple days to go. I am taking Thalidomide, but haven't been increasing the dosage nearly as fast as the doctor would like. It causes drowsiness and the more you take the sleepier you feel. Last time I was at 250mg, I could barely function at work and went home and took a three hour nap. The doctor wants me to get up to 800mg to 1200mg. He thinks I need to push through the fatigue and it may improve over time.