Monday, May 30, 2011

2011.05.30 Hospice

We have stopped Avastin therapy and are focusing on hospice care. Avastin is something to extend one's condititon. The big question is what quality of life am I extending? Chemotherapy isn't helping anything, My vision and physical coordination keep deteriorating. The left side of my body is almost useless. It is all about comfort care right now. I have been able to keep the pain under control. My faith and the love & support of family, friends, and fellow churchgoers keeeps any depression away. I know that the end of this mortality is not actually the end of my existence.

Friday, May 20, 2011

2011.05.20 Life As A Cat

This must be how a cat feels. I need to rest/sleep at least as much as I am awake each day. The steroid dose I am on helps greatly with the headaches. I still have headaches, usually daily though.

I love being off chemotherapy. At least I can't blame myself for getting sick. It is nice to know I am not causing any of my fatigue either, like when I used to take thalidomide. Here are a list of all of my current problems: partial paralysis of the left side of my body, loss of almost all of my left visual field, impairment of my coordination so I can't walk well, button my pants or shirts without help, general vision problems (blurry and sometimes double vision).

I am grateful I am able to be home with my family right now instead of in some care home.

Monday, May 9, 2011

2011.05.09 Working From Home

The fatigue and more painful headaches have made it so that I am trying to do what work I can from home. I also have daily problems with my vision and physical coordination. I wish I could help my wife more with work around the house and running errands. It has been wonderful to have so many of my coworkers bringing us meals to help out.