RW Brain Tumor

Funeral

2011-07-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

Russell passed away last night after a 7 year battle with cancer. He was always brave and sweet and he will be dearly missed by all his friends and family.

The funeral will be held Saturday July 23, 2011 at 11:00 a.m. 100 East Malley Drive, Northglenn, CO 80233.

He will be buried in Riverton, Utah at the Riverton City Cemetery on Tuesday July 26th at 11:00 a.m. 12830 S. Redwood Road, Riverton, UT.

In lieu of flowers a scholarship fund has been established for his children. Donations can be made to the Russell Wentworth Memorial Fund at any Wells Fargo Bank.

Hospice Care Center

2011-06-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had a couple of falls. No major injuries, just some cuts and bruises, but my left side doesn't really work anymore and it is difficult for my wife to move me around. We checked in to the Hospice Center last night and so far things are ok. My two main complaints are that I'm no longer in charge or my medication, and that the food is only served at specific times and with a specific menu. At my old hospital I had a large selection of foods that were delivered room service style. I could call down any time day or night and order what I wanted. The upside is that there are lots of good restaurants nearby and my wife is willing to get me take out.

2011.06.15 Shortness of Breath

2011-06-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Today I experienced a new symptom: shortness of breath. We were concerned about this so my wife called our Hospice nurse. The nurse told me to take some liquid Oxy and that seemed to help. She also ordered some oxygen to be delivered to the house and came by to check on me. She couldn't find any specific reason for my difficulty in breathing.

My mobility and coordination seem to be a little more off. Perhaps I'm just more tired.

2011.05.30 Hospice

2011-05-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

We have stopped Avastin therapy and are focusing on hospice care. Avastin is something to extend one's condititon. The big question is what quality of life am I extending? Chemotherapy isn't helping anything, My vision and physical coordination keep deteriorating. The left side of my body is almost useless. It is all about comfort care right now. I have been able to keep the pain under control. My faith and the love & support of family, friends, and fellow churchgoers keeeps any depression away. I know that the end of this mortality is not actually the end of my existence.

2011.05.20 Life As A Cat

2011-05-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

This must be how a cat feels. I need to rest/sleep at least as much as I am awake each day. The steroid dose I am on helps greatly with the headaches. I still have headaches, usually daily though.

I love being off chemotherapy. At least I can't blame myself for getting sick. It is nice to know I am not causing any of my fatigue either, like when I used to take thalidomide. Here are a list of all of my current problems: partial paralysis of the left side of my body, loss of almost all of my left visual field, impairment of my coordination so I can't walk well, button my pants or shirts without help, general vision problems (blurry and sometimes double vision).

I am grateful I am able to be home with my family right now instead of in some care home.

2011.05.09 Working From Home

2011-05-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

The fatigue and more painful headaches have made it so that I am trying to do what work I can from home. I also have daily problems with my vision and physical coordination. I wish I could help my wife more with work around the house and running errands. It has been wonderful to have so many of my coworkers bringing us meals to help out.

2011.04.27 Fatigue & Minor Headaches

2011-04-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to work full-time. My employer initially questioned the wisdom of my attempts to do so, but I want things to be as normal as possible for as long as possible, and, I like my job.

Unfortunately, I just couldn't last the day this week. I have had to go home early everyday this week and have had minor headaches yesterday & today.

2011.04.19 The Beginning of the End

2011-04-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

Ijust returned from a 10-day trip to Europe where my wife & I celebrated being married for ten years. The trip started off well, but my health deteriorated rapidly. I no longer have full control of the left side of my body. Vision & coordination are impaired. I have to hunt & peck with my right hand now to type. Had an MRI today and the doctor expects the symptoms to only get worse. You know it is bad when the conversation is about you and hospice care is mentioned.

2011.03.03 Stable & Unchanged

2011-03-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

I had a MRI scan this morning and when the doctor, my wife, and I viewed it, everything was the same. When everything stays the same when checking on a highly malignant tumor, that is a good thing. I am still hoping for tumor regression some day.

I had a hard round of chemo, using Irinotecan and Avastin. My health insurance is giving my doctor and I problems covering treatment with those drugs. We're trying to solve the problem.

2010.12.29 - Stable & Unchanged

2011-01-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

We had another MRI scan today and it appears that there was no change from the last one two months ago. That is good, but still not what I hoped to see on the scan images, which is regression. I had "hard" chemo (CPT11, Navelbine & Avastin). I wasn't feeling good after the CPT11. We might stop using Avastin for a while, but we won't make that decision just yet. My physician recently attended a conference on the use of Avastin and some physicians are questioning whether it is appropriate for continuous use.

When there is diffuse tumor progression, like we saw two months ago, the tumor cells are piggybacking the blood supply of healthy cells. The hypothesis is that perhaps if the patient stopped receiving Avastin for a while, the tumor cells would develop their own blood supply and once that took place, chemo might be more effective against the tumor. It is a concept that hasn't been tested.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas! I did.

2010.11.08 - Disease Progression

2010-11-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

My last MRI scan was on 2010.10.21 and it appeared that there was more disease extending toward the back of my head. It was somewhat diffuse. I had "light" chemo (navelbine and avastin) this past Friday and had a consult with my neurooncologist. He met with other neurologists and neurosurgeons and they all thought that there was progression of the disease. My doctor isn't pleased right now because I have tried many of the drugs available for treatment of Glioblastoma Multiforme and the disease is still progressing. My doctor recently took me off Accutane and added Tamoxifen to my list of chemotherapy agents. Other than cancer, I appear to be healthy and happy. I have a wonderful family, I love my job, and I live in a great place. I think that this whole experience may be to teach me humility. I don't like to ask for help and you can't fight cancer alone. You need doctors, nurses, family, friends, and a belief in God and Jesus Christ.

2010.09.09 - Managing With Chemo

2010-09-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

My neurooncologist wanted me to try some older, harder to tolerate, chemotherapy drugs and to take them every two weeks. After the first dose of the old, hard chemo, I was sick for five days. I decided that being sick a third of the time (five out of 14 days) was unacceptable. I wasn't going to live my life feeling that way, that often. We came up with a compromise. I would take the lighter, more recently prescribed, chemo every two weeks or so and the old, hard chemo once a month.

My nurse wanted me to try some new anti nausea drug that she hopes will help more. The nausea is the part I like the least. In addition to the nausea, each chemo drug seems to have some effect on my gastrointestinal system, either diarrhea or constipation.

The neurooncology portion of the office is having their annual long-term survivor party soon. I am considered a long-term survivor. Hard to believe that having a brain tumor for five years and a malignant and aggressive one for a mere two of those years qualified me as a long-term survivor a year ago. I don't plan to go to the party this year. I don't feel like much of a survivor after having surgery again four months ago and going back to the old, hard chemo.

I am able to work full-time and workout. I went running after my last dose of the lighter chemo. My next dose of hard chemo is in one week.

P.S. Whoever posts comments to my blog in Chinese, please stop.

2010.08.08 - Three Months Post Op

2010-08-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

The pain is completely gone, the incision is fully healed, but I have a small pocket of fluid between the skull and my scalp on the right side of my head. Both neurosurgeons advised that they must have connected with a ventricle when they went inside the brain in May to remove all of the new tumor tissue. Ventricles are fluid filled areas of the brain that allow cerebral spinal fluid to travel through the brain and spine. When the part of the skull was put back in place after surgery, they were unable to get a tight seal, so there is a small gap between the piece they cut out to do the surgery and the remainder of the skull. The fluid pocket appears to be getting smaller and smaller over time and hardly anyone can tell it is there unless I push on one part and make another part move. I am able to workout again and feel well most of the time. The chemotherapy has side effects, but for the most part, I can cope with most of them.

06.20.2010 - Six Weeks Post Op

2010-06-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

Things still aren't what I wanted them to be. I still have head pain and I still feel a lot of fatigue. My aerobic ability is absolutely shot. I can only do so much until I need to lay down and rest. I am back to work full-time though. Most of what I do at work is sitting and periodic light walking.

The head pain is manageable. I take a couple 200mg tablets of Advil and any pain usually leaves within 45 to 60 minutes. I would really like the fatigue to go away. I need to push myself each day until it is gone. I need to sleep more each day and end up going to bed at the same time that children do.

The right side of my head still had some swelling, but it is minor. There is no good reason why I should still have head pain. All I want is to feel normal again.

05.22.2010 - Two Weeks Post Op

2010-05-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

I had my third craniotomy of the right temporal lobe and the neurosurgeons removed all of the new growth. It had doubled in size since that MRI on 04/13/2010 where my neurooncologist and I had discovered it. It was still pretty small though. The incision site has healed very well and there is little visible swelling that remains. The surgeons used dissolvable stitches instead of staples this time. It looks a lot better post-op than staples did the last two times. I was conscious after surgery really quickly. They released me from the hospital before I should have and I had a lot of seizures at home, which meant I had to return to resolve that issue (adjusting seizure medications).

After I was released again, the pain was difficult to manage. I am able to manage the pain now, but did not expect to still be taking strong pain killers so long after surgery. No one seems to know why I have the pain, but at least it is getting better.

We saw the neurooncologist yesterday and developed a treatment plan. I will have to get a port, which seemed scarier than it actually is after I learned more about the procedure. A port is a permanent place where I can receive chemotherapy drugs and can have blood drawn from. It is a big deal to get one, but it should reduce the number of future needle sticks that I will have in the future. The time line for when treatment should end is indefinite right now. We will just go from MRI scan to MRI scan and see how I am doing. I will be taking a few different chemotherapy agents and biologics. I received my first dose of chemo that day, something called Navelbine.

My neurooncologist also thought I would be appropriate for an experimental clinical trial of a brain tumor vaccine. We will see if he can get me into that program.

04.23.2010 - Surgery Is Scheduled

2010-04-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

It has been scheduled. I will have surgery in two weeks. Both neurosurgeons believe this will be a relatively simple procedure and the area of new growth is small and appears to be contained.

04.13.2010 - New Tumor Growth :(

2010-04-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

I had another MRI today and unlike all of the other ones in the last two and a half years, my neurooncologist saw new tumor growth. I was disappointed. He is actively working on a plan, which may include restarting Avastin and use of the Gamma Knife, which is radiosurgery. When will this tumor just go away? Cancer can't kill me. This is just one more battle in the war and I will be victorious.

03.14.2010 - Seizure Control Sans Side Effects

2010-03-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

For the past week and a half, I have been using Vimpat in addition to Keppra. The Lyrica was cut out of the plan at least a week or so before that after it caused my feet to swell, which was a very bad side effect according to Drugs.com. It has been working well. My health has been good overall, though I haven't been able to run. I ran a few times a week ago and my knees hurt. I have been trying to focus on weight lifting instead.

02.19.2010 - Seizure Control With Side Effects

2010-02-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

I saw my neurooncologist today after my MRI scan and the tumor was still stable and unchanged, which is great. I started another five-day round of Temodar, an oral chemotherapy agent and will be doing that monthly. The plan now is to continue with that until October, which will be three years post-diagnosis. I had to stop taking Avastin because it was causing me to have high blood pressure. He wanted me on either Temodar or Avastin until the three-year mark. On 01.25.2010, I saw a seizure specialist and she took me off Lamictal and put me on Lyrica. I now take Keppra and Lyrica. I haven't had seizures since then, but Lyrica can cause weight gain and I have been slowly gaining weight. That side effect really sucks! I talked to my neurooncologist about it and he said there are other drugs that could work without that side effect. Let's see how much weight I gain before I object to the effect.

12.31.2009 - Looking Forward To No Seizures

2009-12-31T18:44:00.000-08:00

I am looking forward to a year of no seizures. We are still adjusting the anti-convulsant medication and the addition of Lamictal has helped. I had my last appointment with my neurooncologist for the year.

Avastin seemed to be a drug free of side effects, but that may not be the case. My blood pressure has been elevated the last couple of visits to the doctor's office and I am usually someone with textbook pressure - 120/80. I never have high blood pressure. I asked my chemo nurse whether any of the drugs I was taking can elevate blood pressure and she immediately replied "Avastin." I will now have to take my blood pressure a couple times a day for a couple weeks and see if this elevation is going to be a regular thing. If so, I could either continue taking Avastin and possibly take drugs to lower my blood pressure or stop taking Avastin.

My blood counts were all good. I have a five-day round of oral chemotherapy with Temodar to begin this evening. It's never fun, but it's not that painful either. I like to eat at night and you have to take Temodar on an empty stomach. It's only five days though.

Having no more seizures is one of my goals for the new year. It's not like I have control over it though.

12.15.2009 - A Day in the Emergency Room

2009-12-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

My wife and I spent all of 12.15.2009 in the emergency room. I woke up and had a partial seizure and then a migraine headache. I have been having more migraine headaches recently. My prescribed pain medication didn't do the trick. It had been two hours with no pain relief. My doctor wanted me to come to the emergency room as soon as possible. We found people to watch our children and my wife took me to the emergency room at the hospital that my doctor is affiliated with. We have a hospital only three miles away, but that isn't the one my doctor is affiliated with.

Service in the emergency room was SLOW. I guess only those people spurting blood out or who came in via ambulance get fast service. My migraine headache was finally gone after five hours had passed from the time I took the oral pain medication that morning. A MRI scan revealed that the tumor was stable and unchanged. We are trying to work on dealing with the seizures and adjusting medications until I don't have any more break through seizures.

11.11.2009 - Good Scan, Yet Had A Seizure

2009-11-11T15:33:00.000-08:00

I had a MRI today and the scan went well. No new growth and things would seem to be going well, but I had a seizure recently and that set me back a bit. The doctor adjusted my medication in response to it and I now I can't drive for a while. It is very frustrating to be prevented from driving. This tumor is making me angry. I am sick and tired of problems from this. Why is this thing in my life anyway? What am I supposed to learn from this experience? I think it is time for someone else to take a turn with the evil tumor and give me a break from it for the remainder of my life.

10.26.2009 - A Bad Night

2009-10-28T06:26:00.000-07:00

Since stopping intravenous chemotherapy, I have still continued with oral chemotherapy consisting of Temodar for five nights every three weeks or so. The last of the five nights from this most recent round was Sunday night and it didn't go so well. Usually, I just experience discomfort from the constipation that Temodar causes and the inability to eat in the evening, which I often do. You are supposed to take Temodar on an empty stomach and wait a couple hours after eating before you take it.

Sunday night, I ate a decent size dinner and then a little later took my evening pills. I always take Levetiraceta (generic Keppra) each day to prevent seizures and I take my nightly dose with Ondansetron (generic Zofran) on the nights that I have to take Temodar to prevent nausea, which almost never happens (the nausea). I took the Temodar when I meant to take the other pills and then when it was time for bed and I probably would have had an empty stomach, I took the other pills.

At 0200 hours, I woke up and felt sick. I hoped it would pass, but it didn't. I went to the bathroom and perched myself over the toilet and vomited. I didn't think that this small error would cause that to happen. I am tired of all these drugs and perhaps it is time to stop taking Temodar. When I went to the doctor's office on Wednesday, 10.21.2009, and had IV Avastin and started nightly Temodar, my blood counts were lower than was expected but okay to proceed. The next visit will be a consult with the doctor an a MRI. How much more chemotherapy, even oral chemo, can my body take?

09.09.2009 - The End of IV Chemo

2009-09-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is real this time...it is the end of intravenous chemotherapy for me. I had a MRI scan of my brain this morning, as I usually do every eight weeks and the scan showed no new growth or activity in the residual tumor tissue. After I have the scan each time, I always see my neurooncologist and we discuss treatment and where to go from here.

He invited me to do eight more weeks of chemo to bring me to the end of October, but I declined. He invited me to try etopicide in oral form, but I declined. I said I was willing to continue taking temodar and he was perfectly alright with that. The present plan is to do my five-day temodar regimen every three weeks accompanied by one 30-minute avastin session at his office. Avastin is not chemotherapy. It doesn't make me sick, it doesn't make me drowsy, it just helps slow the growth of rapid growth cells.

I was doing five-day temodar sessions each time I had intravenous chemotherapy, which was usually every four to six weeks. Temodar is taken orally before bed. I will need to go into his office to have my blood counts checked every week and a half and we'll see if doing it at three-week intervals works out.

Both Carissa and I carefully considered this decision and prayed a lot about it and we feel it is the right decision. Haven't I done enough chemotherapy? I think so. I should miss less work, feel better, be able to grow my hair back, and spend less time with a needle in my arm.

08.16.2009 - A Hard Week Post-Chemo

2009-08-16T19:10:00.001-07:00

This recent round of chemotherapy came too close to the last one. This week, my hair has been falling out, which always happens with the Taxol, but it usually happens a week or two before the next round of chemo, not at the same time or after. I did okay at work the day after chemo, but on Wednesday, August 12, 2009, I stayed at work for two and a half hours and left to go home for the day. I have needed extra sleep all week long. It has been harder than usual after this round of chemo.

08.10.2009 - Yet Another Round of Chemo

2009-08-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

On 08.10.2009, I had yet another round of chemotherapy. One of our relatives that lives in the area watched the kids for the morning and early afternoon while my wife took me to the doctor's office to have chemo. I like to compare chemo to lethal injection. If I had enough of it, I am sure it would kill me. If I were ever sentenced to death by lethal injection, I might just lay there and laugh because I was immune to the poison.

This round came pretty quick after the last one, less than four weeks since 07.16.2009. My blood counts were up high enough to permit it and the schedule generally is a round of chemo every four to six weeks. I am hoping that IV chemo will be eliminated at the two year mark, which would be October 2009. That is the goal that my neurooncologist was aiming for and I know I can make it until then. If he asks me to do more once we get to that point, I think I will decline the offer.

I don't feel too bad right now. I had etopicide, taxol, and avastin and the session went from 0900-1300 hours today. My hair is presently falling out, which always used to happen a couple weeks before getting a new round of taxol. Without BCNU in the program, my blood counts spring back faster. Getting a shot of Neulasta stimulates my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells and helps a lot. I will get that shot next week when I go in to have my blood counts checked.

07.16.2009 - Another Round of Chemo

2009-07-16T17:12:00.001-07:00

On 07.16.2009, I had another round of chemotherapy. I had a MRI the prior day, 07.15.2009, and the results of the scan were that my tumor was stable and unchanged. My neurooncologist was very impressed that I was able to work full-time, run three times a week, and lift weights three times a week while doing the therapy and that my energy levels were excellent. He mentioned that when people ask him if they can continue working while doing the therapy, he will now reply, "Russ does it." We decided to continue the current course of treatment and expect to do that until we get to the two year mark, which will be three months.

We had to leave the house early for the chemotherapy today and our sister-in-law really helped us out by watching all the kids. My wife ran some errands while I was receiving the chemo and saw the new Harry Potter movie. Due to the benadryl they gave me intravenously, I slept for most of the four hours that I was there.

I am home now and could be feeling better. I would call my current state mediocre, but not terrible. I am slightly nauseous. I took some anti-nausea medication a little over an hour ago and it is helping. I am really grateful for all my supportive friends and family. It is amazing how many people post supportive comments regarding my treatment status on Facebook. Thank you so much.

For those of you who don't know how you could do it, you could do it. It sounds hard and it is hard, but when faced with something that can and will kill you if you do nothing, you have two choices...fight it and live, or ignore the situation and die. I think the choice is simple. YOU FIGHT. I think you would all do the same thing.

06.13.2009 - Another Round of Chemo

2009-06-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

On 06.10.2009, I had another round of chemo. It was Etopicide and Taxol. I always take the Temodar too, but that is orally each evening for five days, beginning with the first day of chemo. That night, I wasn't feeling well, but I felt well enough the following morning to go for a three mile run. I only missed work for the time it took to receive the chemo. So far, so good. My face is breaking out and that is likely an interaction between the Tarceva and the IV chemo drugs. I will hold off on the Tarceva for a while until that goes away. Even though Temodar isn't that bad, it frustrates me that I am supposed to take it at bed time on an empty stomach. I really like eating before bed and I have to plan to eat earlier when taking the Temodar. The hair is all back, but it is only a matter of time before the Taxol knocks it all out again.

05.12.2009 - MRI & Going Well

2009-05-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

On 05.12.2009, I had a MRI and it showed that everything is presently stable. My doctor showed me the scan from hours earlier compared to a scan from over a year ago and it was clearly visible that the tumor had responded to treatment. I was very pleased to see that.

The new treatment plan is to discontinue using BCNU because I have had as much, if not more, than anyone has ever had of BCNU and it could cause lung damage. The last lung test that I had showed my DLCO as 134% of normal for people my age. My doctor was impressed by this. I think the weight lifting and running has paid off.

DLCO is the extent to which oxygen passes from the air sacs of the lungs into the blood. He and my nurse were concerned that use of the drug any further could significantly affect my DLCO.

Now, we will continue using the Etopiside and Taxol via IV and the Temodar, orally. When I get to 24 months - which is only five months away - we will switch to all oral medications.

04.24.2009 - One Week Post Chemo

2009-04-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

On 04.15.2009, 04.16.2009 & 04.17.2009, I did another round of BCNU. I felt well enough during the treatment that I worked each morning before I had to leave for the doctor's office, brought work with me to do during chemo treatment, and then even worked after chemo was done on the last day. I thought I got off scot-free, but then I was more tired than usual for a week after it. I believe I am feeling pretty close to normal now though. I don't know when the next round will be since the BCNU tends to knock my blood counts down for a few weeks at a minimum. It is also causing me to breakout, so I have a red, flushed look to my face and whiteheads on my face. It is just so fun to look like a teenager again. I don't know if I can say that my hair is coming back yet. I have decent beard growth and my eyebrows are sparse. Last time my hair came out, my eyebrows weren't affected. I don't look too freaky though. Many people have told me I can pull off the bald look pretty well.

04.10.2009 - Hair Falling Out Again

2009-04-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

I knew it would happen again at some point soon since Taxol makes my hair fall out. I can see many places where the hair is falling out and it is time to shave my head again. Some day, this process will be over and the hair can stay. I feel good and have been lifting weights three times a week and running three times a week. I am in as good of shape as I was while in the police academy eight years ago. I have another round of chemo - BCNU this time - scheduled for the latter half of next week. Is it spring yet? Last weekend, we had harsh wind and freezing rain and my lawns were covered in sheets of ice.

03.17.2009 - Etopiside, Taxol, and Avastin

2009-03-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

On 03.17.2009, I went to the doctor's office and had my regular biweekly Avastin treatment, along with a combination of the chemotherapy drugs - Etopiside and Taxol. Taxol is the one that I have to get pretreated with IV benadryl to prevent any possible allergic reaction and I always need a ride to and from treatment for that one. They don't want me driving home after that.

My mother was visiting and offered to take me. My platelet count had been dropping the past couple weeks and started rising again, but the level wasn't where my nurse wanted it to be. I told her that today was the best time for chemo since I had someone with me who could take me home and she consulted with the doctor and I was approved to have chemotherapy.

The Etopiside is what they are using to replace the Camptosar/Irinotecan/CPT11. My nurse said I should not experience nausea and vomiting from it. It has been several hours since I had the treatment and I don't feel sick, but I don't feel great either. I am experiencing a general malaise.

I knew that if I had chemo this morning, I wouldn't want to run on the treadmill this evening, so I ran when I woke up. I hope I will feel good enough to lift weights tomorrow night and then run again on Thursday night. It doesn't look like there is hair growth in my immediate future with all these drugs. Oh, well, I don't mind the bald look.

03.03.2009 - Perhaps More Chemo?

2009-03-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

On 03.03.2009, I had a MRI and a PFT (Pulmonary Function Test). The PFT was because BCNU can adversely affect your lungs. The MRI showed that the residual tumor tissue was stable and unchanged, which is the way it was the last time, the time before that, and the time before that. That is good. It means that the tumor isn't growing.

Despite that, my doctor asked me if I would do more chemo. He said that since I tolerated it so well, perhaps we could hammer another nail in the tumor's coffin. I thought chemo was over and done with. That sucks! We are considering following his advice, but how long will this go on for? Needless to say, it could have been a better day.

02.06.2009 - IV Chemo Is Done

2009-02-07T12:18:00.000-08:00

On 02.04.2009, 02.05.2009, and 02.06.2009, I had my last round of chemo. It was my sixth round of BCNU and the neurooncologist had asked me if I could do six rounds of that drug. He told me that it was the most they had ever given to a patient. All three days I felt fine. I have to take Temodar - an oral chemotherapy drug - for five days as well, but I do that with every round of IV chemo.

I started treatment back on 10.25.2007 when I had surgery followed by radiation therapy and then chemotherapy. I will still continue to have Avastin every couple of weeks and will likely take some regimen of low dose Temodar. Both have virtually no side effects. I will continue to have MRIs regularly to monitor my progress.

As you can see, I took some photos during my last day of chemo. The photos include everyone at my doctor's office that has helped me the past 16 months. They include the office reception staff, Dave (one of Mary's medical assistants), Mary (my devoted chemo nurse who is more dedicated to her job than anyone I have ever met), Dr. Arenson (my neurooncologist and the mastermind of my treatment plan), Cynthia (a brain cancer survivor herself and a volunteer for the Colorado Neurological Institute), Tusdae (who used to be Mary's assistant, but not assists another doctor in the office), and Wade (the staff chaplain).

01.23.2009 - Scheduling the Last Round of Chemo

2009-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 01.23.2009, I went to my doctor's office and had my blood counts checked and received Avastin via IV. My blood counts were all excellent and we scheduled the next round of BCNU a week and a half from now. This will be the sixth round of BCNU and should be my LAST chemotherapy session. I am very excited about that!

01.09.2009 - One Hard Day

2009-01-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

On 01.09.2009, my wife drove me to my appointment for a round of Avastin, Taxol, and Camptosar. I was there for about five hours or so. Once the benadryl went in the line, I took a nap for a couple hours or so. I brought my laptop to occupy my time while I was awake because the hospital has a wireless network for patients and visitors. That night was hard too. Diarrhea, vomiting, and all-around discomfort. It really sucked. I couldn't eat anything. It was just me, my laptop, and a gallon of Gatorade at my side by the bed.

On 01.10.2009, I was feeling better. I expected it to be a morning reprieve only. Usually, things are okay in the morning and get worse as the day goes on. I was able to hold out until now - 17:30 hours - and was even able to take two of my kids to the Museum of Nature and Science in Denver for a couple hours. Let's see how the rest of the night goes and the next day.

12.30.2008 - Good MRI

2008-12-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 12.30.2008, I went to work for a bit and then left for the hospital for my MRI. I always go to see my chemo nurse first because she starts my IV lines painlessly. The MRI staff could care less if you suffer while they poke and/or prod. You need an IV for the kind of MRI that I get because I get a MRI scan with and without contrast. First, the regular MRI without contrast. Then, the MRI scan with contrast solution added to your blood stream. The contrast is a metallic compound that is harmless - gadolinium. If any part of your body that they are scanning is using more blood than the rest of the area, it will light up in the scan because there will be more metal in that area. MRI means Magnetic Resonance Imaging. There isn't radiation involved.

I met with my doctor and he reviewed my scans with me after the radiologist reviewed them. They showed no change - all was stable and unchanged. My neurooncologist was pleased with the scans. There has been no new disease since I had the surgery a little over 14 months ago. That is good when you are dealing with a grade four tumor. We'll do a blood test next week to see if my counts are good enough and then schedule chemo that same week if all is well.

My chemo nurse wanted me to give myself a Neupogen shot that afternoon and in another 48 hours. I had two shots left in my refrigerator. Hopefully, that will be enough to raise my white blood cell count for next week.

12.23.2008 - Platelet Count Rising

2008-12-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 12.23.2008, I went in for what I thought was just lab work, but my chemo nurse added Avastin treatment in addition to the blood counts. I get Avastin via IV every couple weeks. It doesn't have any side effects that I can tell. I have a MRI in a week and perhaps we'll schedule chemotherapy a week after that. They could have scheduled chemo for the same day as the MRI, but it is treatment that I would need a ride for and I am not going to subject Carissa to finding a babysitter for all three kids or taking them all to the appointment to see if I can do chemo. We will wait for a blood test that guarantees that I could do chemo before we schedule the next round. My platelets were still low, but rising from what they were last time. My white blood cell count was low, but not low enough to require any treatment for it.

There isn't anything like learning how bad someone else's situation to let you know that you aren't so bad off. A guy and his wife sat down in the same chemo room that I was in and were chatty. They told me about his situation. He has the same sort of tumor that I had and in the same general location - R Temporal Lobe. He was older than me and I learned retired from the US Army. He was on long term disability and can't return to work, he is taking BOTH Avastin and Thalomid, he had aggressive regrowth that grew substantially in only a month, and they live in Colorado Springs, so they have to travel 64 miles to get to the hospital. I drive about half that - 33 miles - to get to the hospital. He and his wife wanted to know all about my situation and since I was stuck doing Avastin, which only takes a half hour now, I thought I would chat with them. Usually, I don't enjoy chatting about cancer stuff with other patients, it can be depressing.

12.17.2008 - Low Platelets

2008-12-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

My blood test wasn't bad on 12.17.2008. White blood cells and hemoglobin counts were good, but my platelets are low. They weren't low enough to warrant any special treatment to raise them, but I need to be on the lookout for significant nose bleeds and bruising after hardly any contact.

12.10.2008 - Feeling Good

2008-12-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

12.10.2008 was a scheduled CBC at the doctor's office. My blood counts were good and I received Avastin via I.V. line. Everything went great! I will likely have a MRI scheduled within the next few weeks. The only signs of my horrible flu/cold that remain are a light to moderate cough and a runny nose that needs to be blown often.

12.03.2008 - They Couldn't Do Much For Me

2008-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

The past several days have been horrible. Now, we knew on Thanksgiving that Grant had a cough, but we didn't know it would turn into the nightmare of all colds and flues. I hardly ever get sick and have been suffering from this since Saturday. My nights have been so awful. I get hardly any sleep, toss and turn, and am so congested from the excessive phlegm. I had an appointment on 12.03.2008 to get more Avastin and have my blood counts checked, but I was so out of it that I thought I might run the risk of crashing my car. Carissa and I packed the kids in the car and she drove me to my appointment. I had already decided that I wouldn't be doing the Avastin IV due to my illness and I wanted to have my nurse and doctor assess my symptoms. The doctor told me that I did not have pneumonia. I told him about the restless nights, the neverending phlegm, the coughing, the hacking, the fatigue, etc. I also asked him for a prescription for something to help me sleep. The sleepless nights have probably been the worst thing I have been dealing with. Severe sleep deprivation can exacerbate the risk of seizures too and we don't want that. He also wrote me a prescription for a cough suppressant with codeine to help with the coughing. What I really wanted was to be magically alleved of all my symptoms, but that was not to be. I was only at work for 90 minutes yesterday and didn't go today. I don't anticipate being at work tomorrow either based on how this has been going. I just want it to end.

11.17.2008 - Three Day Chemo

2008-11-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

11.17.2008, I am actually at the doctor's office at this very moment using my wife's laptop computer and the hospital's wireless network. I came in a couple hours ago and did a pulmonary function test, went to the cafeteria to eat lunch - something I often forget to do on chemo days - and then went to my doctor's office to get chemo.

This round is the drug, BCNU, which used to be administered over 72 hours as an inpatient in the hospital, but is now administered for four hours a day over three days. This one is something that usually doesn't cause much discomfort for me and I can drive myself to and from the appointments since there they don't give me any benadryl.

In a couple weeks, the effects will be more significant - I won't feel worse, but my blood counts will drop noticeably. We knew chemo would happen today because the last time I went in for a blood check - two weeks ago - my chemo nurse said that my blood counts were beautiful. I don't know if I had ever heard her use that word to describe my blood counts before.

I will be off of work 11.22.2008 through 11.24.2008 and depending on how I feel, I could be out 11.25.2008 and 11.26.2008, but probably not. The oral chemo drug that always accompanies my intravenous chemo, Temodar, can cause me to feel somewhat nauseous. We'll just have to see.

I was off work Friday of last week as well. That day off wasn't for my medical needs though, I took my wife to get laser eye surgery so she will never need to wear contact lenses or glasses again. It was a great investment. She is loving not having any optical aids.

I have had side effects from the Thalomid (the trade name for thalidomide). My doctor and chemo nurse have reminded me many times to be attentive to signs of peripheral neuropathy. It is tingling and numbness in the hands and feet. I have been having difficulty buttoning up my kids’ clothes and using zippers some times and never associated with the Thalomid. I was browsing a web site that talked about the effects of Thalomid and saw that this was a sign of neuropathy, so I brought it up to my doctor. He wanted to keep an eye on it and for me to let him know if it got worse. It wasn’t too bad of a problem

I then began noticing about a week or two ago that I had numbness in my feet. My right foot was pretty numb from the ball of my foot forward and my left foot was pretty numb just in my toes. I had thought my right foot was asleep sometimes, but then I realized that it was “asleep” all the time and that wasn’t right. I told my doctor about it today and he wanted to take me off the Thalomid immediately. This neuropathy (loss of sensation) would likely only get worse over time and is sometimes irreversible. It is better to stop the process as soon as it is this significant. Hopefully, everything will go back to normal after being off of it for a while.

There is an alternative to Thalomid, it is something called Avastin. Avastin is given every two to three weeks intravenously and takes about half an hour to administer. The big issue is usually insurance coverage. Many insurance providers don’t like to cover Avastin because it is expensive and a newer drug, so it doesn’t have the same established track record of some of the older drugs. It is an angiogenesis inhibitor, which means that it slows/prevents new blood vessels from forming in the tumor like Thalomid, but it has hardly any side effects.

On 11.18.2008, I am here again at my doctor's office, sitting in a leather recliner chair waiting for all the drips to leave this last IV bag. I already did my four hour BCNU session and am now almost done with the Avastin session. The first round of Avastin is given over 90 minutes. The second is over 60 minutes. Every subsequent dose is over 30 minutes. I feel pretty tired and some of it is due to the chemo and some of it is due to a restless night. The Thalomid causes significant fatigue and I was at the maximum dose for brain tumor patients - 1200mg - and now I am not taking it at all. It will take a little time for my body to adapt to not having it.

Oh, the drips just stopped dripping. Maybe I can leave now. I was gone for nine hours yesterday and I have been gone for almost eight so far today. You'll hear more from me tomorrow for my last dose of BCNU.

On 11.19.2008, I did not feel well after I got done with chemo yesterday. I just felt ill all evening and then had difficulty again going to bed. It was another rough night. Once I did get to bed, I woke up two and a half hours later to then go in and out of sleep from then until a little after six in the morning.

I wanted to try to get to the office early because my nurse said I could come as early as I wanted (her schedule is very busy today) and the earlier I come in, the earlier I get to leave. I ended up arriving only a few minutes early due to gridlock traffic on the freeway. It was seriously like traffic in the Bay Area of California. It took a hour and a half to get to the doctor's office.

I will be so happy to be done with this. It has really drained me. No appointments next week because BCNU usually causes delayed effects, so they will check my blood counts the week after Thanksgiving Day. One perk about being in the office on Wednesday is that they have a massage therapist that comes in every Wednesday. I asked my nurse to tell me when she arrives.

10.23.2008 - Bad Lab Results

2008-10-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

I went in for lab results on 10.23.2008 and they drew my blood and five minutes later had my results, as usual. They can do it that fast because they are a hematology lab and don't send anything out. My neutrophil count was zero. That level alarmed my chemo nurse. Evidently, neutrophils are the most active of the white blood cells and are the first to attack microorganisms. My nurse wanted me to begin injecting myself with Neupogen daily and taking an antibiotic daily until my next appointment, which will be on Tuesday.

10.17.2008 - Another Round of Chemo & A Timeline

2008-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 10.17.2008, my wife took me to my doctor's office and I got my intravenous line started and then went to radiology at the adjacent hospital and had a MRI. After that, the doctor met with my wife and I and reviewed the scans. The scans revealed that everything was stable and unchanged. The tumor is under control. While the chemo usually lasts a year, my doctor asked me if I could continue with aggressive treatment for four to six more months. His rationale was that he is treating an aggressive disease and most people don't survive it. His goal is just to get me to the three year mark, where the survival curve flattens out and most people survive indefinitely after that point. Since chemo is only something I have to deal with every four to six weeks, I thought I could do that. He wanted to keep me on Thalidomide as long as we could, possibly even up to three years. If I needed to lower the amount I was taking at some point, he thought that was quite reasonable. My body has adapted to the Thalidomide well and I don't notice the fatigue nearly as much these days. My wife and I felt all of it was reasonable. I didn't feel so hot from the round of chemo and will likely be laying around the house the whole weekend and probably Monday and possibly Tuesday as well. This one, while a one day session, usually kicks my butt pretty hard. What I had today was Irinotecan and Taxol. My wife had to drive me because I can't drive myself home after the chemo due to all the benadryl that they treat me with to prevent any allergic reaction to the chemo drugs. I will also be taking Temodar orally for the next five days and usually don't feel good until that is over with. Wednesday or Thursday will probably be the first day I feel good again.

09.03.2008 - Three Day Chemo Session

2008-09-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

09.03.2008, 09.04.2008 & 09.05.2008 were spent at my doctor's office receiving BCNU. I received it for four hours a day for each of those days. They had to lower the dose from what I had received before since it caused my blood counts to drop for such a long time. I don't feel too bad, but I don't feel great either. The BCNU rarely caused much distress to me. I am able to drive myself to and from the appointments. It does cause delayed effects to my body though that will show up two or three weeks after I have it.

08.11.2008 - Unbelievable Fatigue

2008-08-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

It is 08.11.2008 and I still haven't returned to work since having chemo five days ago. I hope to return to work tomorrow. All these drugs make me feel so tired. How many naps can I take? I always feel tired after all the additional rest. Feeling tired all the time gets old and I wish I could just feel normal. It is all part of a greater plan to knock the cancer out, but it is difficult to be patient. The photo is what I take every night and that isn't including chemo. Do you know anyone who takes more pills than I do?

08.06.2008 - Another Round of Chemo

2008-08-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 08.06.2008 I had chemotherapy again and it went pretty well. This is the stuff that should make all my hair fall out again. Just when my beard was coming in thick and full and my hair was coming in the same. I don't feel awful today, but won't be going into to work today or tomorrow because of how I have felt in the past following this type of chemo. I have had to lay down for a while this morning and expect to rest a decent portion of the next couple days.

Things are going pretty well here. We finally got a lot of rain last night. We need more though to catch up for our lack of rain so far this year. The job is going well. I do miss being a first responder so much. Being a police officer is the best job I have ever had and I would love to return to the profession at some point. What I do now is fulfilling, but not so much as being a police officer was.

A Denver PD sergeant already tried to recruit me during a trial a month or so ago. It would be a pay cut and I don't think my current health would permit me to do it at this time.

06.26.2008 - Trip to the ER

2008-06-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 06.26.2008, I felt really tired and then had some problems typing on my computer at work. I noticed my speech sounded really strange during a phone call that I made. I went home and slept for a while and when I woke up, my wife noticed that my speech was strange and she was alarmed. She said it sounded like it was slurred. I couldn't help it, that is just how it was coming out. It got better soon after and we called my doctor's office. He was out of town, but the staff said that if things got worse to bring me into the ER. I soon developed a painful headache in the worst spot...where the tumor was. My wife took me to the ER and they gave me something to help with the pain and kept me overnight. Preliminary scans did not reveal any anomalies. I received more comprehensive scans the following morning and everything showed that all was the same as it was before. The conclusion reached was that I had a seizure. I didn't recognize it as a seizure. I was fully conscious and just felt really tired. They increased my anti-seizure medication as a result.

06.14.2008 - Another Session Over & Done With

2008-06-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

This past week, I only worked 06.09.2008 and 06.10.2008. The schedule showed me out 06.11.2008 through 06.13.2008 and a couple co-workers asked me if I was taking a vacation. I told them it wasn't a vacation, unless you can consider sitting or lying in a chair for three days for four hours each day with a needle in your arm and getting chemotherapy a vacation. This was a three day session of BCNU. I don't feel too bad now and that is pretty good. I was kind of wiped out on the evening of 06.13.2008 and that wasn't the greatest time to be wiped out because my wife was watching her brother's four kids in addition to ours because his wife was in surgery and then she had to fly out that night for her grandmother's funeral. It was a busy evening. I have been very busy today with lots of yard work and house organization and cleaning type chores. Perhaps the key to not getting sick is to stay really busy? Of course, the BCNU doesn't wipe me out like the one day session of Irinotecan and Taxol.

05.12.2008 - One Hard Week

2008-05-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

This week really kicked my butt. I had chemo on 05.09.2008 and was sick all weekend and had to stay home from work on 05.12.2008. I didn't feel that good on 05.13.2008 or 05.14.2008, but was able to work. On 05.15.2008, I had a doctor visit and my white blood cell count was low. That was to be expected due to the chemotherapy and they gave me a shot of Neulasta to boost my WBC count. I felt really tired that day and my boss told me before I left for the appointment to perhaps take a nap before returning to work. When I got home, I slept for about five hours and then had a normal evening and then slept my usual eight hours. 05.16.2008, I finally felt mostly normal. Still not perfect, but close. This may have been the hardest hit I have ever been from the chemo. Not fun.

05.09.2008 - One Day Chemo Session

2008-05-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 05.09.2008, I had another chemotherapy session, but it was a one day session. I couldn't drive myself, so my wife dropped me off and after they gave me a large dose of benadryl through the IV, I was out for hours. I woke up and tried to do some work, but couldn't get anything done, so I gave it up. Right as the nurse was disconnecting the IV, my brother-in-law arrived and picked me up and drove me home. Timing worked out well, but I felt poorly the remainder of the evening. I didn't feel great Saturday either. The morning wasn't too bad, but it got unpleasant in the afternoon, and now I am perking up a bit. I had to prepare two cases for trial for Monday and those are done. I had a jury trial on Thursday and that was a good experience since I haven't had a jury trial since I went out for this medical situation in October of last year. There wasn't a verdict. The jury was deadlocked. After multiple proclamations by the jury that they were unable to reach a unanimous verdict and two and a half hours of deliberating, the judge declared a mistrial. The drugs in this IV session were Irinotecan (also known as Camptosar) and Taxol.

04.09.2008 - Three Day Chemo Session

2008-04-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

04.09.2008 was the beginning of a three day chemo session of BCNU. I started the morning off with a MRI and the results were positive. The doctor believes we have good control over the tumor and there appears to be no new growth. I also begin another five day cycle of the oral chemo drug Temodar. Since each of the three days is a four hour session, I thought I would use the time productively. I have five jury trials scheduled for Monday and brought the files with me to the doctor's office to work on and prepare. What better time to prepare than when I am stuck in a chair for a few hours with nothing to do. I don't feel bad so far, but I still have a couple days to go. I am taking Thalidomide, but haven't been increasing the dosage nearly as fast as the doctor would like. It causes drowsiness and the more you take the sleepier you feel. Last time I was at 250mg, I could barely function at work and went home and took a three hour nap. The doctor wants me to get up to 800mg to 1200mg. He thinks I need to push through the fatigue and it may improve over time.

03.14.2008 - Chemo Again

2008-03-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

It is 03.14.2008 and it has been a while since my last cycle of chemo, but it had to come again sometime. Tuesday was supposed to be the day I had chemo, but only if my blood counts were up high enough. They didn't think the counts would be in the right range because one level was down the week before. I surprised them and my blood counts were great. I wasn't ready for chemo though because I drove myself to the appointment and it turns out that one of the drugs they were going to give me causes an allergic reaction in some people and they give benadryl before the drug to prevent a reaction. They didn't want me driving after that. We rescheduled for Thursday.

So, yesterday, my wife drove me to the doctor's office and once the benadryl went from the IV bag and into me, I was out cold. I was pretty much asleep for the five hour session. It made the time go by quickly, but I didn't sleep well that night. I was able to work a full day at the office today, but the last hour was pretty rough. After work, I went home and just laid down for a few hours to rest. Nausea is never fun. Let's hope it is very temporary. I should have the next MRI and chemo session in a little less than four weeks.

03.01.2008 - Back To Work

2008-03-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 03.01.2008 and the past two weeks have gone well. I have been back to work full-time. There have still been doctor visits, but most are just for blood checks. No nausea, nothing else really either. I started taking an antiangiogenic (an agent that inhibits the development of new blood vessels) which will prevent tumors from growing because they can't develop a blood supply. My energy levels are pretty much what they used to be and things are going well. I do get tired of taking drugs sometimes, but I will do what is necessary to eradicate this cancer.

02.16.2008 - A Break

2008-02-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

I did my three days of intensive (four hour sessions) chemotherapy and am taking the oral chemo agent as well. Things were going well during the week...just fatigue. Yesterday afternoon and almost all of today, 02.16.2008, I have felt nauseous. It is unpleasant. I am starting to feel better now. I had a desire for Taco Bell, so I drove down there and picked some up and I feel good. I will have weekly blood checks to see how my system is doing with this most recent barrage of chemotherapy and then in about five weeks, I will start another cycle of chemotherapy. The next cycle will be a different drug and won't involve three solid days of being in the office. If I recall correctly, it will be a five hour session, but only on one day. It is nice to know that I will have a break from treatment for a few weeks.

02.12.2008 - Results & The Next Steps

2008-02-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

02.12.2008 was a long day. I checked into radiology at 0800 hours and then had a MRI a short time later. After that, I had to have a Pulmonary Function Test (PFT) which was to assess how my lungs were doing. Evidently, some of the chemotherapy drugs can adversely affect the lungs. I asked the respiratory therapist if the testing would be similar to what I had to do annually as a firefighter in order to wear a SCBA (Self Contained Breathing Apparatus) and she said it was different. Well, after doing the whole testing process, I found it to be quite similar to the pulmonary testing that I had to do as a firefighter. There were a lot of deep breaths and then rapid and forceful exhalations.

Next, I went to see the neurooncologist and he reviewed the MRI scans and the PFT results. My lungs were great. The MRI scans showed that there was still some residual tumor remaining in my brain. This was to be expected. My neurosurgeon told me that he was able to remove about 90% of the tumor or so. The residual tumor tissue was kind of like a ring around the healthy brain tissue around the cavity where the other tumor tissue was resected in October. The doctor didn't think that any growth had occurred since the surgery and I didn't think any had either looking at the scans.

It was next to impossible to use the MRI scans taken right after surgery as a baseline because the MRI was unable to discern tumor tissue from blood, debris, scar tissue, and other liquids occupying the cavity. Now, things have cleared out significantly. The scans taken today will form the new baseline. We may do a future scan that will include spectroscopy. I learned that spectroscopy is a MRI scan that involves detailed analysis of the substances that make up what is in the cavity. The main issue of whether or not this can be done is if the insurance will pay for it. Having spectroscopy done costs significantly more than just a regular MRI with and without contrast.

Now that we know that the tumor is responding to treatment, the next step is to continue treatment. The radiation part is over. The chemotherapy will still continue. The tested my blood levels and found that all is well with my blood. They were very impressed at how my immune system was functioning. The chemo agents often knock down the immune system, but I have learned that my immune system recovers well from the agents I have been subjected to so far.

I started the first day of a three day intensive IV chemo program. I received a chemo agent over a four hour period and then will have it again on Wednesday and Thursday. So far, I feel no side effects whatsoever from it. I will also take the oral chemo drug that I took during radiation for the next five nights.

There won't be that much more chemotherapy involved because the body can only take so much of it and needs to have rest periods. Chemotherapy agents are toxic and while the goal is to poison the cancer, the body needs to have time to recover from those agents as well. The doctor advised that the new and latest focus in oncology is what he referred to as "biologicals." The drugs he referred to are all antiangiogenesis agents. That means that they inhibit the growth of new blood vessels in the tumor tissue. If the tumor can't produce new blood vessels to feed itself, it will not be able to grow. The side effects are minimal with the biologic agents and occur rarely.

Most of the future therapy will be oral agents, so I can take them at home instead of sitting in the doctor's office for many hours at a time. I learned today that the treatment plan may last up to three years with all involved. I was surprised to learn that because it seems like they spring new information on the treatment plan on me each time I see them. I asked the chemotherapy nurse why I only received bits of information at a time and the plan kept expanding more and more each time they shared it with me.

She told me that since they don't know how each patient will respond to the different treatments (how they will tolerate different drugs and how the tumor will respond to the drugs), they don't want to elaborate on this multi-year plan when hardly any of it may actually happen. In addition, going over that much information early on can be overwhelming. I could understand both of these points. However, I still like to know what is going to take place and I like to know all of it, rather than bits and pieces.

I considered today one of good news. I didn't want to see any new growth or activity with the tumor. This is a high grade glioma and no new growth or activity is what is sought.

02.02.2008 - We're going to Disneyland

2008-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 02.02.2008 and things have been going well. No additional side effects and no symptoms of tumor regrowth, but it would be rather early to see that happening. We are going to Disneyland next week. It should be a fun family trip. Work is going well too. I have been working part-time in the afternoons and will continue until I feel up to full days at the office.

01.26.2008 - Feeling Much Better

2008-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 01.26.2008 and this past week has been a wonderful reprieve from the unpleasantness that followed the end of the initial phase of treatment. I feel normal and am eager to find out how well this follow-up treatment went. I will have the MRI and learn of the results in 2.5 weeks. It is very nice not to have to drive 45 minutes to the hospital for the daily treatment sessions too.

01.19.2008 - First Phase of Follow-Up Treatment

2008-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 01.19.2008 and I am finally feeling better after a lot of sickness. I was sick for most of the past week yet again. Now, I feel normal, which is so nice. Last night was the first time in a while that I actually felt hungry to eat a snack between meals. No more nausea or vomiting. I lost almost a pound a day this last week according to nurse in the oncologist's office. My appetite has been so decreased that I have been finding that far smaller portions are all I need to feel full now. I guess my stomach is markedly smaller than what it used to be.

Many people have asked what happens next and I have a time line for that now. In slightly over three weeks, I will get the brain MRI and start the three day intense IV chemotherapy plan.

Overall, I must say that I felt worse this past week and a half than I did following either surgical procedure.

01.12.2008 - Seven Weeks Into Treatment

2008-01-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 01.12.2008, and 31 Radiation therapy sessions are down and three cycles of chemotherapy done. Well, I still have two more days to take oral chemotherapy pills and then the third cycle is done. The oral stuff isn't too bad on my system. I have three radiation therapy sessions to do next week and then I am done with radiation therapy. After that, I get a month off of treatment and then get a MRI to see how treatment affected the tumor and - unfortunately - have a brief, but intense chemotherapy treatment where I get chemotherapy three days in a row for four hours a day. They tell me it is better tolerated than the stuff I am getting in the IV now.

This past week was my worst week of the treatment. It started poorly with my intense illness from the flu on Sunday and then, Tuesday night, I actually started feeling almost normal. I had my last IV chemotherapy session on Wednesday and as planned, they increased the dose again. We definitely found the dosage that I can tolerate because I was not feeling well after that. Wednesday was an unpleasant day. I didn't feel well on Thursday either. Friday, I felt well enough to spend the afternoon at the office. Today, I have been feeling a lot of fatigue and just been trying to rest.

01.08.2008 - Radiation Treatment

2008-01-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

01.07.2008 - Six Weeks Into Treatment

2008-01-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 01.07.2008 and there is just one more week or so of radiation therapy and one cycle of chemotherapy left. Things are still going well with side effects aside from this past weekend. I was very ill this past weekend, but I think it had a lot more to do with me having the flu rather than the treatment. We have all had the flu in our house and had it bad. I was hoping it would skip over me, but I got it too.

I had to skip one radiation therapy session this past week because one of the kids was so ill from the flu. Glad there wasn't a session to attend on Sunday or else I would have had to skip another session because I was so ill. Let's hope that this illness is done passing through our house. So much for flu shots...not that I have ever had any faith in them. The one year that I get a flu shot and am in a "high risk" category, I get the flu really bad. I rarely get sick and won't get one again.

12.29.2007 - Five Weeks Into Treatment

2007-12-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 12.29.2007 and I have now completed five weeks of radiation therapy and two cycles of chemotherapy. Both the nurse and doctor that I see weekly at the radiation-oncology office don't know what to do with me because I don't have any of the side effects that most of their other patients have. My blood work results are good every week, hair loss is minimal, I am tolerating chemotherapy very well, etc.

I trimmed my hair again since it was just a little bit shorter where the surgery had been and the radiation has been focused upon. Not that it had much of a chance to grow out since the last time I trimmed it with the clippers. I have tapered the steroid dose down even further and I imagine that within a week or so I won't be taking any steroids any more. I look forward to the time when I am taking as few drugs as possible.

It is wonderful to be in the new house. We had a great Christmas. It is a bit colder than I am used to at this time of year, but I know I will adapt to the weather. Unfortunately, just about everyone in our household has a cold right now.

12.22.2007 - Four Weeks Into Treatment

2007-12-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 12.22.2007 and week four has come and passed. I have done four weeks of radiation therapy and am in my second cycle of chemotherapy. No side effects from the chemotherapy so far. As I mentioned, I have experienced hair loss from the radiation therapy, but just in the area where the tumor was since the radiation is focused there. Sunday of last week, I used the clippers with no guard on my whole head, so I am basically bald. You can't tell that there is any hair loss now, but I look like what I used to look like while I was in the police academy. I used to give myself this haircut every summer, so I am used to it. Colorado winters are even colder when you have no hair though. I will taper down the steroid dose even further in a day or two. Not to do too much at one time, but we closed on our new house this past week and are wrapping up the moving process right now. It has been a very busy week here. It is nice to be in the new house though because it is nearly double the size of the rental house we were living in and we can actually unpack all the stuff from our California house.

12.14.2007 - Three Weeks Into Treatment

2007-12-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 12.14.2007 and so far I have completed three weeks of radiation therapy and one cycle of chemotherapy. Next week, I will start my second cycle of chemotherapy. I don't feel that much fatigue so far, but I started noticing some hair loss last night and this morning. It is mainly in the area of my scalp where the surgical procedure incision scar is and that makes sense because the tumor tissue was underneath there, so the focused radiation is directed there to irradiate the remaining tumor tissue. The hair will grow back, but not until the radiation therapy is completed. My physician has continued to taper down my steroid dose, which is good because it is only needed to deal with swelling and I don't have much swelling any more. The less medication I have to take the better.

12.08.2007 - Two Weeks Into Treatment

2007-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is 12.08.2007 and it has been two weeks since I started the daily radiation treatments and I have only felt some waves of fatigue, but nothing too persistent. The chemotherapy schedule in place makes it so that I won't begin the second cycle of chemo for another week and a half. My neurooncologist cleared me to resume driving again, but thought it would be a good idea to start slow. The radiation-oncology staff has reminded me that the fatigue may still be coming because the effects of the radiation therapy is cumulative as the treatments continue. It isn't anything to look forward to, but some increased fatigue isn't the worst thing that one could experience. They also said I could experience some hair loss, but I haven't noticed any yet.

12.01.2007 - No Side Effects So Far

2007-12-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It is now 12.01.2007 and I haven't felt any nausea or really any other side effects. While I haven't had to go through any of this before, I would say that I am doing pretty well with it all. When I initially learned of the brain tumor back in late 2004, I felt like if I had to have a mutation (cancer is the result of cellular mutation), I should get some cool power, like the X-MEN. My wife advises that my cool power appears to be not to experience side effects.

Following both the surgeries (early 2005 and late 2007) I never experienced any nausea after having been under general anesthesia. I haven't had any nausea from the chemotherapy as of yet and haven't had any noticeable side effects from the radiation therapy as of yet. After a couple weeks, perhaps things won't be so rosy, but things are going well so far.

11.26.2007 - Treatment Begins

2007-11-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Treatment began this week. 11.26.2007 was a "dry run" of the focused radiation therapy. They called it a "dry run" because it was for fine tuning and calibration.

11.27.2008 was my first focused radiation therapy session. Unfortunately, the visit took over an hour when it was supposed to take only 15 minutes or so and we brought all the kids with us because we thought it would be so brief. They were late in getting me to the machine and then after the session, because the swelling in my head had decreased so significantly since the surgery, they wanted to make a new mesh mask for my head (which keeps my head positioned precisely) and rescan me wearing the mask with the CT machine.

11.28.2007, my brother-in-law volunteered to take me to my appointment. He volunteered for a lot because this was my first long day of treatment. The focused radiation therapy session was very brief and then I had my first IV chemotherapy infusion. They told me the IV session would be 90 minutes or so. Well, it didn't work out that way. We had left the house at 1230 hours and didn't get back home until 1800 hours.

What was a pleasant surprise was to learn that the neurooncologist wanted to change the chemotherapy schedule so that I had higher doses administered per session, but the sessions would be less frequent. The initial schedule was for the IV infusions to take place one day per week throughout the treatment plan and the oral chemotherapy to be taken every week day throughout the treatment plan. Now, I will be doing the IV infusions once every three weeks and the oral chemotherapy daily for a five day period once every three weeks.

They gave me anti-nausea medication with the IV and I haven't felt sick so far. Hopefully the oral chemotherapy won't cause me any nausea either...of course I will be taking anti-nausea medication with the oral chemotherapy as well.

11.17.2007 - Treatment Schedule

2007-11-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

After meeting with the neurooncologist again on 11.17.2007, he had a preference to begin treatment starting after Thanksgiving weekend. We could have started this coming week, but he did not want to start with an abbreviated week that then had the four day Thanksgiving holiday off from the therapy. Simultaneous administration of chemotherapy and focused radiation therapy should take place on the weekdays after that time and should conclude in mid-January.

I feel better and better each day with less fatigue as each day goes on, but we'll see what effect the therapy has on my mind and body because the most significant side effect described by the physicians is increased fatigue.

I now have some projects to work on from home from my employer and we will see how that goes too. I wanted to work again and know that it can only be part time for now. My employer has been very supportive and willing to let me work from home right now.

11.06.2007 - Treatment Plan

2007-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 11.06.2007, we met with my new neurooncologist here and then met with a radiation oncologist. The pathology of the tumor has changed. They are classifying it as a grade four (most aggressive type) astrocytoma - often referred to as a glioblastoma multiforme. Astrocytomas are the most common form of brain tumor. My neurooncolgist has a very positive attitude and wants to aggressively treat it. He believes that cures for these situations are possible. Real world statistics aren't good, but we are going to fight this.

The treatment plan will involve simultaneous administration of chemotherapy and focused radiation therapy. Radiation therapy will involve 33 fractionated therapy sessions that are normally administered daily over the week days. Most of the chemotherapy will be orally administered and is generally well tolerated by the majority of patients who receive it. I will also receive a once a week IV infusion of another chemotherapy agent. The most significant side effect described will be increased fatigue as a result of all of it. Fatigue levels will get better after treatment. They will take a month off of treatment and then do follow-up MRI scans to see how the treatment went.

On 11.08.2007, I met with my neurosurgeon and he removed the staples from head. That was really nice to have done because I was finally able to take a full shower and wash my head since the surgical procedure.

On 11.09.2007, I had the pre-treatment planning CT and MRI scans done so that they can design the specific treatment plan for the focused radiation therapy. It was a long morning, but will enable the treatment to proceed now. They are anticipating treatment to begin in about ten days or so and then will involve the daily treatment sessions. The sessions will only take 20-30 minutes each day, so actual treatment - other than the once a week IV chemotherapy infusions - won't take too long, it will just be the daily grind of driving down to the hospital for the sessions on a daily basis.

10.13.2007 - Headaches

2007-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I don't recall what dates they started occurring, but I started having headaches at work. I thought it was likely because I was starting a new job and it was stressful at times. When I would get the headaches, they were always generalized headaches, like a normal tension headache. I would take some Advil and they would go away and then things would be normal. I didn't think too much of them.

I woke up early on a Saturday morning, 10.13.2007, with a significant headache. I wasn't at work, so it surely wasn't due to stress from work. It also wasn't generalized like the other headaches. This one was localized to the area where the tumor tissue was. I knew that couldn't be good. I tried taking some Advil, but it didn't work this time. My wife thought I should go to emergency room and I agreed.

At our local hospital, which is a very new facility, they were humble enough to acknowledge that they were ill equipped to deal with a brain tumor situation. They had no neurologists or neurosurgeons on their staff and their imaging equipment wasn't really ready for something like my situation presented. They did do a good job in assisting with the pain and referred me to another hospital in the Metro Denver area.

My wife took me there and they had a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, and did MRI and CT scans. The neurosurgeon I consulted with viewed the films and could instantly tell that my present scans did not reflect a stable and unchanged situation. It looked to him that my tumor had grown back, but he wanted to see the prior films to see what things looked like when I had the last MRI.

I overnighted the CDs with the MRI scans from Colorado to Stanford and had the CDs with the MRI scans from California overnighted to the neurosurgeon here. The physicians consulted with one another and everyone was in agreement that things had definitely changed since the last MRI scan. The tumor was back and it had changed quickly. Surgery would need to be performed again.

On 10.25.2007, I had surgery. The neurosurgeon was able to resect about 90% of the tumor tissue and there were no complications from the surgery. I spent some time in the hospital recovering and was discharged on 10.30.2007, to continue my recovery at home. It was very nice to be discharged. I like the level of care at the hospital, but I like being at home much better.

08.13.2007 - Left DPS & Became A Prosecutor

2007-08-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I knew it was only a matter of time before my medical situation caught back up with me and I didn't want to be forced out. I thought it would be a long time in the future before things got worse, but wanted to shape my own future career course. I had my law degree and was now a member of the Colorado Bar, so I thought I would pursue law in Colorado. I interviewed with a few offices and was extended a position as a Deputy District Attorney with an office. It was sad to leave the public safety field, as I had been doing that line of work for the past six years, but I felt good about the change. The cost of living was dramatically different too. I started on 08.13.2007.

07.24.2007 - Another Seizure

2007-07-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Things seemed to be going well, but I had a full blown seizure while I was eating breakfast with my daughter on 07.24.2007 my wife observed some of it and called 911. The ambulance took me to the local hospital and they did some scans. I was discharged after a few hours or so because there wasn't really anything to do. The scans showed that everything was stable and unchanged. I advised my neurooncologist of the situation and I attributed it to the intense stress of the life changes taking place - moving to another state, leaving my present job, and all of that stuff. He felt that those were pretty significant factors as well.

06.12.2007 - Stable & Unchanged

2007-06-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 06.12.2007, follow-up MRI scans were done and the situation was stable and unchanged. That was good to learn. I had a follow-up appointment with the neurooncologist, but left before actually ever meeting with him. I waited nearly an hour for him in the exam room, but he was too busy with some other matter, so I left the MRI films and went to work, which I was already late for.

05.22.2007 - More Auras

2007-05-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

There has been a change in my medical condition. Over the past couple days, beginning with 05.22.2007, I have experienced what I could best describe as auras. I advised my neurooncologist of these changes and he felt it appropriate to have a follow-up MRI scan.

02.06.2007 - Considering Leaving Public Safety To Practice Law

2007-02-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 02.06.2007, I had an appointment with my neurooncologist and expressed my desire to practice law full-time. He was very enthusiastic about the idea. I told him about my likely move to Colorado and he volunteered to still be my physician even if I was out of state. He felt a commitment to my situation since he was encouraging me to find another line of work and here I was doing that very thing. He thought that MRI scans every six months would be sufficient based upon my present situation.

12.02.2006 - Back To Patrol

2006-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 12.02.06, I was assigned to a late patrol shift and was back on patrol.

11.28.2006 - Setting The DMV Straight

2006-11-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 11.28.2006, I used my legal education to file a petition of mandate with the superior court. Hours after formal service was performed on the DMV headquarters in Sacramento, I received a phone call from a DMV senior attorney urgently wanting to settle the matter. I was now cleared to operate a fire engine. That same day, I had a ride along back in the patrol division at work and on 11.29.2006 I was requalified on department issued firearms.

10.20.2006 - DMV Problems

2006-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 10.20.2006 the DMV advised that they were okay with me operating a regular motor vehicle, but not a fire engine. I requested a formal hearing and had one over the phone on 10.25.2006 with what I could only describe as an uneducated hearing officer. She had no knowledge of the laws I had reviewed prior the hearing and denied my request to operate a fire engine.

09.12.2006 - Bureaucracy Issues

2006-09-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

It is 09.12.2006 and DPS and the DMV are both frustrating my neurooncologist. Work is requesting further clarification on the issue of returning to full-duty status and asking for more than is medically needed to resolve this issue. The DMV has a lot of forms to be filled out as well.

There is a 60% chance that I could have another seizure in the next two years, but if I did, who knows when it might be. The MRI films are good, but he feels it is unlikely that there was absolutely no growth occurring. Growth may be taking place at such an minute rate that it was virtually undetectable.

08.16.2006 - Cleared For Full-Duty

2006-08-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 08.16.2006, my neurooncologist cleared me to resume full-duty status at work.

03.28.2006 - Stable & Unchanged

2006-03-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have had follow-up MRI scans during the past period and just had one on 03.28.2006 as well. The interval between MRI scans could probably be increased from every three to every four months. My neurooncologist wasn't sure when he would feel comfortable clearing me to return to full-duty status. He would like to see me find a less physically hazardous and demanding profession. I have been considering leaving the public safety profession for that of the practice of law. He has cleared me from all work for now and it looks like long term disability is the next step now.

11.22.2005 - Full-Blown Seizure

2005-11-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 11.22.2005, I had another seizure. We were all at my in-laws' house in another state and I had a full blown seizure. I went to the hospital and they checked me out and released me.

After that incident, the neurooncologist and I decided that this would be a good time to switch to a more advanced anti-seizure medication. The only reason we didn't do it earlier is because switching from one medication to another causes an increased risk of seizures during the transition. Since I just had a seizure, it seemed like now was a good time.

10.25.2005 - Full-Blown Seizure

2005-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

It wasn't just an aura this time. While on patrol on 10.25.2005, I went to a local hospital to pick up a paramedic who needed transport back to his rig at Station Two. I lost consciousness while driving him back. He called for assistance because I was having a full convulsive seizure in the vehicle. Thankfully we were stopped at a red light and he put the vehicle into park. I was transported to Stanford, treated, and released.

09.15.2005 - Another Aura

2005-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 09.15.2005, I had a brief aura at work. It was a daydream accompanied by some sweating.

07.16.2005 - Auras

2005-07-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 07.16.2005, I had two brief auras. I attributed it to stress from work. My relationship with my supervisor is a very negative one. Almost every work day is a hostile environment while working for Lieutenant Kim Bianconi.

On 07.17.2005, I had another aura.

05.13.2005 - Follow-Up

2005-05-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had more MRI scans done in May and the physicians advised me on 05.13.2005 that my brain looked better than right after surgery. There is always a lot of swelling after surgery, so that went down. They want to keep an eye on what could be residual tumor tissue, but could even just be scar tissue from the surgery.

04.04.2005 - Driving Again

2005-04-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

As I had hoped for, I was able to resume driving again beginning 04.04.2005. It is so freeing to be able to drive again.

03.01.2005 - Getting Back To Work

2005-03-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 03.01.2005, I had a follow-up appointment with my neurosurgeon and he encouraged me to get back to work. A few days later I did just that and returned to modified duty at work. I had great friends who were willing to drive me to and from work so that I was able to work again.

02.01.2005 - Follow-Up & Healing

2005-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 02.01.2005, my friend Bradley drove me to my first follow-up appointment with the neurosurgeon and had the staples removed. I had no restrictions on my activities other than not to participate in contact sports for at least one year. No problem for me as I did not play any such sports.

Most of the follow-up decisions now would be up to the neurooncologist who would be monitoring my situation.

The next day, I went out in public for the first time. I felt a bit tired as we were checking out at Costco. It was perhaps a bit more exertion than I had been prepared for, but everything was alright. Every day is a dramatic improvement for me right now.

After another day, I was able to make dinner for our family and then had the most regular sleep schedule so far since leaving the hospital. A couple days after that I was able to do some household chores with out much difficulty.

A couple days later, I was able to take my daughter to the park and it was the first day that I could definitely say that I felt pretty good and almost normal.

The following day, I met with the neurooncologist and he confirmed that my tumor was in fact a grade two oligodendroglioma. Oligodendrogliomas only come between grade two and four. We would now have MRI scans at three month intervals to check on any new growth and/or activity with the tumor tissue. Should any occur, I may need chemotherapy or focused radiation. I could even need further surgery at some time, but certainly not now. He wanted me to hold off on driving again until at least April.

Several days later, I started working out again. I did light work on a stationary bicycle and didn't feel too tired afterwards. I tried attending church services the following day and that was a bit more than I was ready for because it was the longest I had been out of the house since the surgical procedure.

01.24.2005 - Surgery

2005-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

Surgery was now confirmed for 01.24.2005. The procedure should take about four hours total. After that, I would likely be in the hospital for three to four days. Once I am able to walk around, use the restroom, eat, etc. on my own I would be able to leave the hospital. I would probably be wiped out for a couple weeks and be a couch potato. I would likely be able to resume driving after a reasonable period after the surgery as long as I took the anti-seizure medication. I would need to have follow-up MRI scans at regular intervals after the procedure to monitor the tumor.

01.24.2005 at 0830 hours, the procedure began. After surgery, they didn't find any deficits in any of my abilities. Peripheral vision was all intact and I had no noticeable deficits in my memory abilities.

A couple days later, I walked on my own and was feeling well enough to have visitors. I was informed that about 80% of the tumor tissue was removed and that it was believed to be a low grade (grade two) oligodendroglioma. I received my first visit from the neurooncologist (specialist in brain tumors).

The next day, I was discharged and returned home to recooperate. It was nice to be out of the hospital and be back home. A few days later was the first time I felt mostly like a normal person with closer to normal energy levels.

12.23.2004 - Dealing With Bureaucracy

2004-12-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

We had some problems with the referral to Stanford. The usual bureaucratic stuff. I wasn't going to settle for anything less than referral to Stanford.

I had been feeling more anxiety recently and can't attribute it to any one thing. I am frustrated about the brain tumor, being out of work and getting paid for doing nothing, being frustrated about how slow things are progressing with regard to consultations, treatment, and getting this whole thing taken care of.

My primary care physician is now working diligently on the Stanford referral. Interestingly enough, they were unsuccessful. I asked for the contact information for Blue Shield and then called the appropriate person directly. I received nearly instant authorization to consult with a neurosurgeon at Stanford for a second opinion as to my situation. I then called that neurosurgeon's office at Stanford and arranged for a consultation and it was all arranged.

I went to Stanford, met with the neurosurgeon (who was also a professor of neurosurgery) and consulted with him about my situation. I described my symptoms, my history, and showed him the MRI films that I had brought with me. He believed that he knew exactly what kind of tumor I had and believed it to be a low grade tumor based on all the information I presented. He believed that all the sweating and anxiety incidents were auras. Auras are pre-seizure activity that are cues to indicate that a seizure may occur.

The neurosurgeon did not favor radiation and felt that he could surgically resect the vast majority of the tumor. He didn't see any point in performing a separate biopsy, since the tumor tissue obviously needed to be resected and they could biopsy it all they wanted after they removed as much as they could. He didn't think that I would experience much of a deficit as a result of the surgery.

As a result of the surgery, I may lose some peripheral vision on my left side. He thought I may be out of work for a month or so and then could return to a desk job for a few months and then go back to a full-duty assignment.

The bureaucratic process was breaking down in my favor now. Authorizations were underway and surgery was tentatively scheduled for January 2005.

On 12.02.2004, I had some more unusual anxiety, but brushed it off. It went away after about 30 seconds or so. On 12.04.2004, I was laying down on the couch watching a movie and felt pretty tired. I had some more anxiety and sweat a bit and then just fell asleep.

On 12.23.2004, my neurologist cleared me to return to full-duty, but work thought I should probably stay modified duty until the surgery with all that was going on.

11.15.2004 - MRI Revealed Mass

2004-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 11.15.2004, I had my first MRI scan. The neurologist called me not long after to inform me that they needed to do a more in-depth scan because a mass was found in my brain.

On 11.18.2004, I met with the neurologist and she advised that there was a six centimeter mass in my right temporal lobe. I arranged to have a consultation with a neurosurgeon in my medical group for the following week to discuss options for dealing with it. I was started on some anti-seizure medication because the right temporal lobe is one prone to seizing when there is something disturbing it.

On 11.19.2004, I missed work because of the new revelation and received a lot of support from co-workers, friends, and family.

I had a consultation with a neurosurgeon and he wasn't what my wife and I wanted. He didn't seem to take the situation very seriously and didn't think it posed any immediate threat. He didn't want to operate, but leaned towards radiation. He just wanted to biopsy the mass. We were very unimpressed.

After reconsulting with the neurologist, we decided that I should be referred to Stanford University Medical Center for consultation with more advanced specialists. Initially, the request for consultation at Stanford was denied, but we learned that the law requires that a second opinion be granted just about anywhere.

On 11.24.2004, 11.25.2004, and 11.30.2004, I had a few of the same sort of incidents - unprovoked anxiety accompanied by sweating when I wasn't doing something that was physically exhausting. I would usually lie down after the experience and they were of brief duration. I wanted to ignore them all together and just act like they never happened. I was tired of this.

09.07.2004 - More Strange Things

2004-09-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 09.07.2004, we had EVOC (Emergency Vehicle Operations Course) training at a local naval air station and I started feeling some anxiety prior to starting the training for the day. I attributed it to just general stage anxiety over others who would view my driving for the day and hoped that I would drive well during the exercises. I started sweating again. I checked my blood glucose levels and they were acceptable. Later that day, it was quite warm and I was sweating again.

On 09.16.2004, I was doing some traffic control in the shade during a hazardous materials incident. I started feeling lightheaded and sweaty. I had some anxiety too. It was odd because there was no anxiety provoking experience to cause it. The whole thing lasted a couple minutes and I was rather tired.

On 09.17.2004, I felt anxiety again with no anxiety provoking event. Feeling anxiety without anything to provoke it felt awkward. On 09.25.2004, I had another such experience.

Late this month, I had my first consultation with a neurologist. I told her my symptoms and was referred for EEG and MRI scans at a later time.

08.22.2004 - Further Symptoms

2004-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

On 08.22.2004, I was eating dinner with my family and some friends of ours and having a pleasant time. I started feeling lightheaded and was sweating. It seemed weird to start sweating when I wasn't exerting myself physically in any way. It lasted a couple minutes. I wanted to just brush the incident off as something weird.

On 08.23.2004, I was at work writing a citation and had a brief daydream. I also felt lightheaded and started sweating again. I finished the citation and sat down in the patrol vehicle for a moment with the air conditioning on and felt a bit better. I was feeling tired that day.

On 08.29.2004, I was watching a movie at home and again felt lightheaded and started sweating again. It lasted for about a minute. Again, I brushed it off to something weird, but didn't know what it could be. I told my doctor about these incidents and he was wondering if perhaps I was having blood sugar problems. I got a glucose tester to analyze my blood sugar when the incidents happened.

On 08.31.2004, I was at work driving my patrol vehicle and had a daydream with some lightheadedness and sweating again. I pulled over and took my blood sugar level. It was normal. Eating never changed my symptoms, so it did not seem likely that this was a blood sugar issue.

02.22.2004 - First Sign Of A Problem

2004-02-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

On 02.22.2004, I was on-duty as a police officer and took a report of a domestic violence call at my department's headquarters. I went to interview a possible witness to the incident. I went to the house where the witness lived and felt light headed while at the door, but brushed it off as no big deal. I made voice contact with the person inside the residence and the next thing I knew I was picking myself up off the threshold of the doorway for the residence and wondering how I ended up on the ground. The occupant of the residence was on the phone with dispatch informing them that an officer was down at their residence. I realized that I must have lost consciousness. Dispatch called me over the air and was confused when I responded despite the information that they had an officer down. I got on the phone with dispatch and told them I guess I must have passed out or something. I felt fine afterwards and did not feel the need for any additional units to respond to my location, but my supervisor insisted that units respond to see what was going on. I was probably out for a minute or so total. An ambulance took me to the hospital and they didn't find any problems with me. They discharged me that evening with restrictions on my driving abilities until further follow-up was performed. One of my friends from work drove me home that night. Later, I saw my physician and he presumed that it was a heart related problem since most loss of consciousness incidents are related to heart related problems. I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours with no unusual results and then was later referred to a cardiologist for just about every follow-up test related to the heart and my heart checked out just fine.